Are You Living and Loving Wholeheartedly? ~ by Kim Dent

I remember a time in my life when the secret shame and pain of my heart refused to be stuffed down anymore. I was a young mom with a husband and two young daughters. Outwardly I was the picture of a woman who had it all together. PTO president, beautiful home, great husband, well behaved kids—most of the time, friends and family whom I loved and who loved me. But inside, my heart was a shambles.

You see, I harbored the dark secret of childhood sexual molestation since the age of five years old. I had never told a soul and like most abused children, I harbored a deep sense of “being bad”

I reasoned that I could handle this secret…I thought that I could simply forget about it and magically all the shame, confusion and fear that entered my heart so long ago would simply “go away” It would be as if it never happened.

 

I was dead WRONG.

  

Though I pushed the memory and the feelings associated with it out of my daily consciousness for many years, the effects of this wound played out in other ways. I felt a need to keep others at arms length, to preserve my secret and to protect myself. Shame, Fear and Secrets kept my heart captive from being fully alive. these all were symptoms of a spiritual heart problem. I needed help.

 

You see, I had never dealt with my abuse, never been honest with the Lord about my questions for Him and why He had allowed this blight over my childhood…and now my adulthood. So a piece of my heart was locked away from the world and from God. I was halfhearted in my faith, in my parenting, in my marriage and in my friendships. I grew prideful and refused to acknowledge my heart problem. My secret became like a cancer…eating away my joy, purpose and especially my relationships.

 

It took an act of terrorism on Sept. 11th to bust through my hard heart and wake me up from my stupor. As the towers fell, the walls around my heart began to crumble. Sobs erupted from a deep place within me as I watched the news. Innocent people attacked by surprise in a place they should have been safe. I realized that I was also sobbing for my own surprise attack upon my innocence so many years ago.

 

I found myself calling out to Jesus, asking Him why! in the midst of the unspeakable horror, Strangely, in the midst of the unspeakable horror on September 11, I had an encounter with the lover of my soul.

 

Jesus.

 

He came to rescue me. I know now He had been waiting for me to invite Him into my pain, to ask my questions and to let my guard down with Him. He tenderly unearthed my broken heart from the rubble and began what would be a three- year journey to redeem what Satan had tried to destroy- the joyful heart of a little girl whom God had created for good and not for evil.

 

 

Have you been living a half-hearted life? Has shame, fear or secrets kept you from the joy and purpose you (& Jesus) desire for your life and relationships? If so, I have good news for you!

 

It’s never too late to allow the Healer access to the hurts and hang-ups of your past. You can live wholeheartedly! Your Creator loves you fiercely, cares for your heart, understands and grieves your pain and desires to make you whole again. His name is Jesus.

 

We, at caring for the heart, would be honored to help you begin your own journey back to wholeheartedness! We would love to hear from you!

 

Love Well,

 

Kim

wholehearted

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